On May 31, 2011, the NY Daily News came out with a piece that said fewer Americans are walking down the aisle than ever and married couples are the minority in US households for the first time according to the census bureau. It’s a fact experts attribute to people waiting until they are older, more mature and financially secure to get married.
As these thoughts circulated in my head, I thought about my 35 year old brother who happens to be single. In light of recent conversations here, I wanted to know if he’s contributing to the singleness of black women or is he being obedient and fulfilling his responsibility.
You see, the Bible that I read says in Proverbs 18:22, he who finds a wife, not she who finds a husband, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. It is the man’s responsibility to find a wife.
A man is to meet a woman, date to investigate, court the one God reveals to him as his choice, propose to her and marry her. Before I go any further, let me say this, we cannot take God out of what he created and expect it to work. It never will. Marriage is God’s idea. Its not a man-made idea therefore the rules that we have created around it are the reasons we’re not marrying. Back to the story…
I decided to call my brother and ask him point blank; are you looking for a wife?Without sharing my reason for asking, his answer without hesitation was a resounding YES! He doesn’t know this, well now he does but I literally jumped off my couch and did a happy dance in my living room. Now he’s not sitting on the side of the road with a sign like the dude in the picture but he understands his responsibility as a man and he’s being obedient.
He says he’s been meeting a lot of good women lately but his eye gate is standing in the way. Men are visual he says and we all like what we like. I have to get past that because at the end of the day while looks are important, it doesn’t come down to looks. I reminded him that he has a sister (that would be) who’s single and mingling and he should conduct himself in accordance to how he wants men to treat me.
If you don’t want a man to lie to me, play games with me and sell me dreams, don’t do those things to the women you meet. Always operate in a spirit of honesty and integrity and conduct yourself according to how you were raised and what you were taught by your parents. You’re a child of God, a man of God and you need to act like it even while dating. We had a nice chat and I must say I hung up the phone pleased and proud of my brother.
We can talk all day and night until we’re blue in the face about the numbers of unmarried black women however, until men understand their role and responsibility in this thing called marriage and commit to carrying it out and women hold them accountable, we will continue to see more of the same.
Something to think about…
Yvonne Chase is a Dating & Relationship Coach to Singles and Pre-Committed Couples. Visit her website http://www.yvonnechase.com to learn more.