Why is cooking in our culture considered to be a “woman’s job”? It seems as though culturally we have adopted a “Men work, Women cook” mentality. This mentality causes couples to enter marriage expecting husbands to be briefcase toting bread winner’s only, and wives to be apron wearing home maker’s only. But in reality our culture is full of two income households where both spouses have careers, aspirations, and goals that make assigning household chores like trying to master calculus with the IQ of a five year old. But in real marriage, the rules of the culture are always trumped by the grace of the gospel and the power of the Holy Spirit.
Real marriage is all about sacrifice and selflessness; ideas that usually fly in the face of the culture. Real marriage points us to a relationship between Jesus and HIs bride (the Church) filled with selfless sacrificial unity, love, and service. This is a love that says, “I’ll do whatever is necessary for your good”. The gospel is our motivation to love and serve our spouses and the Spirit gives us power to apply this motivation when the culture says otherwise. Real marriage says, “I am called to serve and empowered to serve for the good of my spouse”. This is a truth I am not only writing about but learning to live more and more each day.
As the primary cook in my household, I am humbly growing to enjoy serving my wife in the kitchen. I am learning to see the benefit in managing our grocery budget, doing our grocery shopping, and preparing our meals throughout the week. Can my wife cook? Yes, with the skills of a culinary craftsmen! Does she cook? Yes, occasionally. Are there times when the task is more burdensome than enjoyable? Absolutely! But God is teaching me how wearing the apron works well for our household, our schedule, and our health. It helps us stay away from poor food choices, allows my wife rest, keeps us accountable and disciplined, and brings God glory. Real marriage will always humbles us and calls us to consider the good of our spouse over the preference of the culture.
Caring for your spouse will almost always come at the expense of doing what is counter cultural. Each marriage is unique, has it’s own dynamics, and is a union between broken people God is making whole. Spouses who are dedicated to the good of one another will find joy in serving each other in whatever ways are most helpful and beneficial. That’s what Ephesians 5:21 is all about, humbly giving yourself away to and for your spouse as they do the same for you, So serve faithfully with joy! Be humbled by the gospel! Be fulfilled in loving your spouse in the most unconventional ways! And by the power of the spirit, you’ll find yourself doing whatever is best for your marriage.
That’s what REAL MARRIAGE is all about.
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