Embracing Grief Series (3)
Published on August 20, 2009
cont…from Janet Eells
After the funeral is over and family and friends have gone, the reality of the loss begins to sink in, and one is overcome by waves of sadness and loneliness. “I’m alone. I’ll never see him again. How can I possibly go on?” Tears may come almost continuously or at unexpected moments when the realization becomes overwhelming. Other emotions crowd in. There is anger-anger at the doctors who failed to save the loved one, anger at others who still have their mates or children, anger at God for permitting such a thing to happen, anger at anyone who is around for anything at all. For some the need to express anger is a consuming one; for others it plays a minor role, but usually it is present in some form or other.
I remember feeling a rush of emotion that came streaming out of nowhere a few weeks after my loved one passed away. It was a combination of guilt, anger, loneliness, confusion, and hopelessness. However, as it came I embraced the flood of tears and cried out to God. I told God everything I was feeling and thinking. As the tears flowed, it was as if I was being cleansed and renewed, yet still grieving. Please, don’t hold back or dodge the feelings you feel when they come. The people of Israel grieved all the time. As a matter of fact, they fasted and literally ripped their garments off during their grieving stages. So cry like a baby, vent to a family member, friend, or pastor, and be open about your feelings. Rap about it if you have to…whatever you do, don’t keep it in.