I’m a Human. I Can Feel It.
Published on March 23, 2009
My heart is heavy. It’s about 1:30am Tuesday morning and I just got a lot floating in my mind. Some thoughts are…pleasant. Others are thoughts that make me ask the question “why?”
Once again, today has been a good day. The heaviness of my heart does not take away from the day God has blessed me with. I woke up this morning, prayed, and read Exodus chapters 2 through 4 about Moses. I stopped where he kept asking God questions and then he performed the miracles in front of the Israelites to gain their trust. I didn’t know that God was going to kill Moses because his son wasn’t circumsized. His wife saved his life.
When Charde woke up, we prayed together. We prayed hard for the health of various family members such as my dad who’s going through kymo therapy and her mom who has been in and out of the hospital. We also prayed hard for the salvation of some peers that we know. Sometimes I lose hope because I keep praying for people but it seems like they’ll never changed. But as long as they are still breathing, there’s hope.
I went into the studio, multitracked a beat, mixed 3 beats and then took a shower and got ready for my band’s 1st rehearsal! I am delving more into live sound and we are now putting some structure to it. I had a live band play with me at my album release in January, but it was all freestyle (it sounded good though). Now we want to capture it. The rehearsal was good! It felt like I did a full concert after we finished. The church we are rehearsing at is letting us use the building for free and none of us are members. He said he just wants to help build the kingdom!
I picked up my PC laptop from the computer shop. I had to get the keyboard and dc jack fixed b/c Naima broke like 11 of the keys. It costed us $250.00! Ouch! It’s all good though.
I got home, kissed my family off as they went to visit my aunt that’s in town from Alabama. I had to stay behind b/c me and Doc Watson did a radio interview that should air on Holyculture.net this week or next week I believe. It went very well! Lots of laughs and appreciation. It’s encouraging.
My friend bought me Fruity Loops 7, Microsoft Office 2007 and Adobe Dreamweaver and Photoshop! He really came through for me. So I spent the remainder of the day installing all of that software. I also installed Reason 3 adapted from my ignition pack 2 s that I can start making beats on Reason. I also slid in a little Street Fighter 4. The competition is getting harder as I win more matches. I lost 4 matches this time. Most days I lose 0 or 1 match at the most.
I had a little time left before my scheduled bedtime since my family didn’t come home yet, so I looked up some of the Air Jordan remixes and the feedback they’ve been receiving. I was sad when reading on Reach Record’s board because a few of the guys made some unnecessary comments about me and what I do for the Lord. That really saddened my heart. And yes, I won’t let this bind me or stop me from doing what I do, but it hurts! I can’t lie. I have seen a few comments here and their lately about me and I wonder if they think they are invisible. I see these messages. Most artist see messages about them. We still have to let the light of Christ shine, even on Christian Message Boards. I’m happy that Sho Baraka received some good feedback for his “Kobe Bryant On Em” version of my song “Air Jordan”
I just got a text message from my wife saying that one of the boys we have been praying for just got saved! Praise God! Prayer works.
So as you can see, I have mixed emotions. Nothing wrong with that. Just can’t sin based on what I feel. I’m bout to go pray now. I’ll be back!