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"I never thought I would make it this far being a virgin, educated black man from the city of Compton."

What’s it like being a virgin in this culture?

In this culture, it is encouraged for the most part to explore your sexuality with whomever YOU want in music, movies, books and etc. In the Kingdom Culture, it is encouraged to live purely until you become married with a spouse that the Father brings you together with. (1 Corinthians 7:1-2) So what does it look like to live as a virgin in a world that has distractions all around you? Is it possible to walk in sexual purity when all your friends have given their bodies to whomever they want?

I never thought I would make it this far being a virgin, educated black man from the city of Compton. Growing up cousins and relatives would ask, “So, do you have a girlfriend yet”? or “When are you going to have kids”? It can be a challenge to watch friends, family and even associates seem to pass you by in life and love when they find someone special. Thoughts of “Will I ever find that special one to be with”? are normalcy. Not only do I personally know these thoughts, but our Father does too. Trust me I have been tempted twice to lose my virginity. Having a consistent, but not always perfect prayer life, helps in being more sensitive to what direction God wants you to take in moments of strong temptation. You realize the pain it would cause the other person, yourself and our Father.

Does that make me better than everyone else? Far from it. Aren’t you tired of those around you losing hope that real people, who serve a real King in a real Heaven, actually exist? Wouldn’t it be cool to show those who are looking for Him, His superpowers that He gave you?  You see to be a virgin starts in the heart. And the decision to stay a virgin or become sexually pure is powerful! If you're not a virgin - Don’t you think He has the ability to make you a virgin again? He created the earth, He rose Lazarus from the dead, He healed the sick but you don’t think He has the ability to restore your sexual purity. What?! If you Ask He will give it, If you seek you will find it and if you knock the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7) It’s possible with the Creator.

Now on one side, you may say, “So, wait a minute, why should I be sexually pure as a Christian, God understands my heart”? "He sees I have struggles."... "Everybody is doing it" When did God 'knowing our heart' mean that He has given us a pass to continue going the wrong way? When did the majority rule become the values you personally hold onto? (1 John 2:15-17) Do you not know you are a Kingdom Citizen? The King desires for you to live for Him and to be able to enjoy your life in His culture. When He tells us to walk in sexual purity it is actually to protect us and give us the best chance to enjoy walking like Him. (Galatians 5:16-26) If you knew a man who had all the answers to life’s challenges and he was 100% accurate would you follow him? If you said yes you are our winner on “The Christ is Right!!!!!” Be encouraged that Jesus has the ability to make you whole and keep you IF you want to be kept. (Ephesians 3:14-20) It starts with the heart and what seed you plant in it. You will become what you plant inside of you. 

So, in everything we do, understand that this lifestyle is a journey that we take one step at a time. Be prepared to make mistakes. When you mess up in any type of way it’s all about you getting back up to strive for your mission or purpose. Don’t condemn yourself, but do know we need the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Here are some tips I have used that has helped me with staying the course:

  1. Pursuing to understand the Kingdom of God. Consider how God operates His Kingdom on earth and your purpose, identity, and destiny within that Kingdom. Without purpose, you will abuse whatever you have including someone you may want to marry. Recommended Read: Rediscover the Kingdom by Myles Munroe. 
  2. Learning to Understand the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 1:7-7) Recommended Read: The Fear of the Lord by John Bevere
  3. Pray, Fast and Give for the purpose of becoming aligned with the Father's heart and character. (Matthew 6) If I’m not aligned with the Source of life how would I stand with a future spouse?
  4. Desire God's Best of all the things He paid for on the cross. One of those 'best' things is not settling for less in your relationships because you are royalty. (Romans 8:32)
  5. Embracing that Every Person You Meet Has An Assignment and its EXTREMELY important to decipher what someone's assignment is in your life through a pure friendship.
  6. Give God the Best of Your Life because whatever is sown will be received back. (Romans 12:1-2)
  7. Find Peace In Waiting because it’s all about developing a healthy foundation within yourself so that when you do get married it ACTUALLY lasts. (Mark 12:30-31)

Of course, there may be more things you can do but the Most IMPORTANT THING is SEEKING (pursuing, studying, researching) FIRST the Kingdom of God and HIS righteousness (God’s ways of living on earth) and everything else (including the right relationship) will be added to you. Matthew 6:33 


Alex Johnson

Los Angeles, California
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