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Valentine’s Day: Not Without Love

Published on February 4, 2012

I am single and I have no children.  For me that’s not a problem but for others it seems to cause some discomfort.  Like when you’re conversing with someone and you begin talking about your life and you say, no I’m not married and no I don’t have any children.  You get that awkward pause or that puzzling look as if they are wondering “what’s wrong with her”.  I am here to tell you there’s nothing wrong with me.  My singleness is not a crime, it is not a disease nor does it require anyone’s pity.  If you believe Jeremiah 29:11 (For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome) or Isaiah 55:8 (For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord.) singleness just may be where God wants you.

I am not saying this state of singleness will last forever but there are so many negative connotations surrounding being single that I believe it drives many of us into unholy and unhealthy relationships that are not God’s intent for our lives.  I believe our time of singleness should be utilized to draw closer to the Lord, to become wholly His before we become one flesh with someone else.  Philippians 4:11 states Not that I am implying that I was in any personal want, for I have learned how to be content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted) in whatever state I am. Satisfied in whatever state, if we are to ever reach a place of contentment we need to accept singleness as a place of enrichment, purging and pruning that will prepare us for wherever God decides to lead us.

We often move from relationship to relationship never allowing ourselves space or time to unload.  We carry all those emotions from a previous relationship right into the next one.  We need to take time to heal no matter how our last relationship ended.  Our emotions need to heal, our minds need to heal and sometimes our bodies need to heal.  We must take time to allow that healing to take place and wait on God to move us forward.  Waiting is hard to do especially when you see everyone around you in a relationship all in love and happy but singleness does not mean unhappy or unloved.

I am loved by my family, my friends, and most of all by my God who loves me enough to give me His very best.  I am willing to wait for God’s best.  I am not only willing to wait I am willing to accept the life He blesses me with even if it doesn’t include marriage or having children.  Don’t allow being single rob you of joy or make you feel unloved.  Don’t let singleness hinder you from living and enjoying the life God has blessed you with; you and your gifts are needed in God’s kingdom, don’t be tricked out of the blessing of being utilized in the kingdom of God.

The enemy will battle you in your mind regarding singleness.  Many times I have lost those battles and found myself in a state of depression felling unloved, unwanted and fearing the future, but I am learning to find true rest in God.  I am learning to stay busy in the things of God finding myself free to be used by Him in numerous ways.  Writing about it is easy, living it is a challenge but with God all things are possible.  So yes I am single and I have no children but I am satisfied finding joy and contentment in this life God has given me, knowing that He gives me hope in my final outcome.

Satricia L. Moore

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