Be still…i deleted Instagram
Published on September 28, 2026
And I dont know if I am going back.
“You need to fast from Instagram,” I felt the Lord tell me this morning.
But as children often do, I pretended not to hear the voice of my Father, but felt a heavenly crossing of the arms, as if to say, “Are you really not going to do what I asked?”
Before I could change my mind, I stopped making breakfast for my girls and deleted the app from my home.
I had felt this moment coming for days. Was it really terrible to be on the app? My stream consists of faith-based creators, some political commentary, and now and again the much-coveted cat blooper. Nothing that would taint my soul or lead me away from God. That is why it’s taken me so long to get here.
And yet here I stand, having deleted the app not three hours earlier, and I’ve already hovered around the spot it used to hold on my home screen twice.
Why I Kept Going Back
I’ve always struggled with boredom and stillness. It was the reason I disliked most every job I’ve ever had, until I found my home at Holy Culture,, and it’s also why I’m often overtasked and overworked.
And that was the case before social media arrived on the scene! My modus operandi has always been: keep moving, keep producing, and most recently, keep creating. The constant movement and churning of my brain has been a drug I’ve been addicted to for so long I am uncomfortable and out of sorts without it.
Now, at a place where my job and creative endeavors are in flux and quiet work, I find myself reaching for the app more and more. To drown out the silence and disrupt the stillness that I felt all around me. But now I am starting to wonder if the stillness is what’s been missing from my spiritual walk as well as my ministry.
What Fasting Actually Is
I’ve only fasted a handful of times in my life, all of them for the safe return of my husband from war-torn Iraq and Afghanistan- and only partially for medical reasons. But I have never felt called to it, like I am now. Not so much digital detox but something deeper.
Moses fasted before he wrote down the Ten Commandments, the people of Israel fasted to atone for their sins, and Jesus began His ministry this way – I am no Moses nor Jesus. Still, the custom of fasting was assumed of His followers ( Matthew 6:16). That is what I am.
I found it curious that while fasting means abstaining from food and drink, it can also mean abstaining from customary and choice nourishment.
My customary choice was that of noise. Chatter that disrupted my thoughts even when the app wasn’t opened. And while conscious that it wasn’t nourishing my soul, I kept going back- keeping stillness at bay.
Be Still and Know
Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.”
The “be still” here means to sink, to relax into the full knowledge that our God is Elohim—the supreme One who is preeminent over a world that feels chaotic and tearing at the seams.
Stillness is not unproductive. Stillness is not lazy. Stillness is where we let that still small voice settle and produce in us a quiet confidence that comes from knowing Who we serve and who we are in Him.
The stillness I kept calling boredom was an invitation to know both- one I kept declining.
While this verse can be a comfort in times of trouble, it is also a command. One we fail to obey to our detriment.
I Don’t Know Yet
Will I ever put the app back on my phone? I don’t know yet. Four hours in, it’s too soon to tell.
An action I took out of obedience but with hesitation feels right. While the content I was consuming was benign, it still wasn’t nourishing me and, worse yet, it kept me from sitting in my Father’s presence throughout the day.
Wasted time I will never get back.
Exercising the muscle to be still will be a new experience for me, but one I look forward to growing as I learn to sink into the knowledge that my Abba is in everything.
