Love, A Word That Comes and Goes

The world is so consumed by conversation, movies, songs, and media all about love, I fear we have lost the essence of the word. Love is everywhere, yet rarely examined. In this article, I want to push the common notions of love to help you explore nuances you may not have considered about love and pseudo love.

During the holidays, one of my mother’s most memorable adorations is her affection for Hallmark movies. You know the ones. The main character has left home, experienced some life-altering shift, and eventually returns. There is almost always a love interest from the past or someone unlikely in the future who shows up with all the right attributes. A conflict arises that seems to make love improbable, yet fate steps in and delivers a predictable, happily ever after ending. Harmless. Satisfying. “Good ole Hallmark.” Especially appealing because it isn’t filled with the debauchery of other movies that are hypersexualized, violent, and messy, for lack of a better term.

While I appreciate a good Hallmark movie, it has rarely reflected the reality many of us have experienced with love. You may, like me, have endured heartbreak that felt life-shattering and life-altering. Family trauma and discord may have dismantled your beliefs and forced you to question the true definition of love. Friendships and community connections may have left you wondering if it was even worth putting yourself out there again. It gives very much “I’m over it.” And honestly, here’s why you should be.

Most of our beliefs about love were shaped by fairytales, books, movies, and television shows. When real life finally confronted us, we were devastated, confused, and unsure of what we did wrong or how to fix it. I know this to be true because I have walked that journey and now find myself seeing beyond the veil. For the sake of this article, and to avoid belaboring the point, I want to offer a focal truth to consider as you reflect on the meaning and place of love in your life.

Focal Point: God is love and has exercised His nature of love in everything that was made.

“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—His eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.”

Romans 1:20

If you study nature, not astrology as horoscopes but the scientific matters of the universe, and the human body, you will see that everything God created was designed with what it needs to survive. Plants, animals, and humans have innate inclinations that teach them how to live and reproduce. We do not need instruction for those carnal instincts. The deficit appears only when we look outside of our original design to supplement or replace the very nature God created.

Our bodies are so intricately designed that when we are sick or injured, God has already provided remedies through His creation. This is why people detox, fast, or eat clean and experience healing from cancers and other physical and mental conditions. God created us with that ability, and it is a beautiful showcase of how deeply He loves us.

Let us not forget that He also sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins and be resurrected so that we could be raised with Him from sin and shame, the very conditions Satan would love to confine us to. He did not stop there. That same power, the power that raised Jesus from the dead, is available to us. It is the same power used to create us, assign us purpose, and design us with intention.

When we walk outside of our divine design, we struggle with identity, purpose, and alignment. This causes us to stop filtering our choices, relationships, and decisions through the lens of the Holy Spirit. We become captivated by the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. These enticements convince us that God has withheld something from us and that by diverting from His principles, we can finally experience “real love.”

Satan has been using this strategy since the beginning of time. It has become so normalized that it flows through generations, resulting in generational trauma and repeated patterns. These patterns persist because authority is given through agreement. The deception is simple: what looks good, smells good, talks good, and feels good must be better than waiting on God. We are subtly convinced to use our power of choice outside of the One who issued it.

Any love outside of holy matrimony between a man and a woman surrendered to Christ results in turmoil at some point. Consider children born to parents who may be saved but not submitted. Many suffer emotional neglect, abuse, manipulation, guilt, and control, sometimes even wrapped in religion. Though these parents may attend church, serve, or lead, a heart not fully surrendered can still miss the mark. The impact on children is profound. It teaches them that pseudo love is love, when love not grounded in Scripture and guided by the Spirit of truth is not God’s love at all.

Love becomes a word thrown around to disguise unclean motives and spirits that normalize what God did not ordain. Love does not hold people in submission. Through loving kindness, it draws them deeper. Love does not guilt or shame people into change. It confronts sin boldly while offering a way of escape through Christ Jesus. Love does not tear people down through abuse, control, or manipulation. It tears down demonic strongholds and breaks generational curses. Love does not keep a record of pain or past seasons lived beneath God’s will. It presents Christ as the kinsman redeemer who restores us to our rightful place as co-heirs and a royal priesthood.

In closing, may you rest deeply in the love of God. Challenge the spaces in your life where love did not reflect 1 Corinthians 13. Ask God for a clean heart and renewal of your mind. Understand that He may dismantle areas where you have conformed, and that is okay. He is near to the brokenhearted and faithful to bind their wounds. There is no safer place than in the presence of Jesus.