Leadership: What Does It Mean To Be A True Leader?

Published on November 8, 2024

In a recent episode of The Man Up Club Presents, host Celena Lena and guests Odis Turner and Jesse Hoilien engage in a profound discussion about leadership. This episode is particularly insightful for young Black males aged 13 to 24, but the lessons shared are universally applicable. The conversation covers the nuances of leadership, the importance of empathy, self-care, and the influence leaders wield. Here, we break down the key takeaways from the episode, offering actionable advice and thorough explanations to guide aspiring leaders.

Understanding Leadership: Beyond Authority

  1. Balancing Authority and Empathy
    Odis Turner emphasizes that true leadership is not just about making decisions for others but involves a delicate balance of authority and empathy. He argues that while leaders must assert authority to gain respect, they should also recognize that people often resist direct instructions, especially when emotions are involved.

Actionable Advice:
Present Options: Instead of dictating actions, present options to those you lead. This approach allows individuals to make their own choices while still providing guidance.
Empathetic Listening: Practice active listening to understand the emotional states of those you lead. This helps in making informed decisions that consider their feelings and perspectives.

  1. Meeting People Where They Are
    Jesse Hoilien discusses the importance of meeting people where they are. Effective leadership sometimes requires walking alongside individuals as they navigate their decisions, rather than simply offering solutions and stepping back.

Actionable Advice:
Emotional Readiness: Assess the emotional readiness of those you lead. Tailor your guidance to their current state, ensuring they feel supported and understood.
Relatability: Share your own experiences and struggles to build a connection. This makes you more relatable and trustworthy as a leader.

The Role of Self-Awareness in Leadership

  1. Navigating Pride and Humility
    Jesse expresses his discomfort with the word “proud,” particularly within the Christian context, where pride is often viewed negatively. He suggests that while it’s important to recognize personal achievements, leaders should be cautious of crossing the line into arrogance.

Actionable Advice:
Confidence vs. Arrogance: Maintain a balance between confidence and humility. Recognize your achievements but remain aware of the contributions of others.
Self-Affirmation: Regularly affirm your worth and capabilities. Draw on principles that reinforce your identity and purpose without tipping into arrogance.

  1. The Importance of Self-Care
    The speakers agree that leaders must take care of themselves to effectively support others. This is likened to the airline safety instruction of putting on one’s own mask before assisting others.

Actionable Advice:
Rest and Recuperation: Acknowledge when you are feeling empty and take a step back to recharge. This humility is crucial for effective leadership.
Mindfulness Practices: Incorporate mindfulness practices such as meditation or journaling to maintain mental and emotional well-being.

Serving Others: The Heart of Leadership

  1. The Necessity of Humility
    Jesse poses a thought-provoking question about the nature of serving in leadership: “If serving is below you, then leadership is above you.” This underscores the necessity of humility in leadership roles.

Actionable Advice:
Service-Oriented Mindset: Approach leadership with a mindset of service. Be willing to help those you lead, demonstrating that leadership is fundamentally about serving others.
Mentorship: Recognize that every great leader has been a follower at some point. Seek mentorship and be willing to mentor others in turn.

  1. Mindful Influence
    Odis encourages listeners to evaluate their social media algorithms and the types of content they consume, as this can shape their perspectives and leadership styles.

Actionable Advice:
Curate Your Feed: Be mindful of the content you consume on social media. Follow accounts that inspire and uplift you, and unfollow those that negatively impact your mindset.
Positive Influence: Use your platform to share positive and constructive content. Be a source of inspiration and guidance for your followers.

Embracing Vulnerability and Growth

  1. Acknowledging Struggles and Failures
    The speakers emphasize that leadership comes with struggles and failures. They stress the importance of confronting shortcomings and viewing them as opportunities for growth.

Actionable Advice:
Reflect on Failures: Regularly reflect on your failures and identify lessons learned. Use these insights to improve your leadership approach.
Vulnerability: Be open about your struggles with those you lead. This fosters a culture of transparency and trust.

  1. Motivation and Purpose
    Jesse and Odis highlight the importance of external sources of motivation, especially on days when they feel overwhelmed or apathetic. They draw on their faith and affirmations to stay motivated.

Actionable Advice:
Find Your Why: Identify your purpose and what drives you. This could be a personal mission, a higher calling, or the impact you want to have on others.
Daily Affirmations: Incorporate daily affirmations that reinforce your worth and purpose. This helps maintain motivation and focus.

Conclusion

This episode of “The Man Up Club Presents” offers a rich dialogue on the complexities of leadership, emphasizing empathy, self-awareness, and the importance of serving others. The insights shared by Odis Turner and Jesse Hoilien under the guidance of Celena Lena, provide valuable lessons for anyone looking to make a difference in their community. By embracing these principles, aspiring leaders can navigate the challenges of leadership with grace and effectiveness, ultimately creating positive change in the lives of those they lead.

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TIMESTAMPS

Introduction to the Episode (00:00:09)
Celena Lena introduces the podcast, the Man Up Club, and the topic of leadership.

Guest Introduction: Odis Turner (00:00:53)
Odis Turner, a 25-year-old alumnus, shares his journey with the Man Up Club since 2018.

Odis’s Connection to the Club (00:01:13)
Odis explains how he got involved with the Man Up Club through his sister’s program.

The Club’s Growth (00:01:48)
Discussion about the new clubhouse and the programs available for youth.

Introduction to Jesse Hoilien (00:02:13)
Celena introduces Jesse, an 18-year-old student at Northwestern University.

Jesse’s Background (00:02:21)
Jesse shares his background, including his move from Ethiopia to Minnesota.

Leadership Quotes Discussion (00:03:00)
Celena begins discussing leadership quotes, starting with Frederick Douglass’s quote on struggle and progress.

Odis’s Perspective on Struggle (00:03:14)
Odis agrees with the quote, emphasizing the necessity of struggle for progress.

Jesse’s Insight on Struggle (00:03:43)
Jesse adds that struggle can also lead to regression, highlighting its dual nature.

Personal Reflection on Struggle (00:04:21)
Celena discusses the personal implications of struggle in leadership.

Struggles Shaping Leadership (00:04:59)
Both guests agree that their struggles have shaped them into better leaders.

Michael Jordan’s Quote (00:06:11)
Celena shares a quote from Michael Jordan about failure leading to success.

Serving from a Full Cup (00:06:40)
Discussion on the importance of not serving others from an empty cup.

Jesse on Leadership and Capacity (00:07:02)
Jesse discusses the need for leaders to have enough to give to others.

The Importance of Rest for Leaders (00:11:17)
Jesse emphasizes the necessity of rest for effective leadership.

Humanity in Leadership (00:10:10)
Odis explains that leaders must be human and acknowledge their struggles.

Where Leaders Find Strength (00:10:59)
Odis discusses the importance of knowing where leaders derive their strength.

Personal Leadership Stories Introduction (00:12:06)
Celena transitions to discussing the personal leadership stories of Odis and Jesse.

Jesse’s Leadership Role (00:13:14)
Jesse describes how he carries weighty decisions and influences others.

Examples of Leadership Influence (00:13:58)
Jesse shares the types of advice he gives, including significant life decisions.

Odis on Leadership Dynamics (00:15:30)
Odis discusses how leaders are often placed in positions by others seeking guidance.

Odis’s Approach to Leadership (00:16:28)
Odis explains how he navigates between being a friend and a leader.

Encouraging Critical Thinking (00:19:44)
Odis emphasizes the importance of encouraging others to think critically about their decisions.

Understanding Leadership (00:19:53)
Discussion on the dual nature of leadership: decision-making and guiding others.

Balancing Authority (00:20:27)
Odis emphasizes the need for balance between authority and respect in leadership roles.

Proposing Solutions (00:21:02)
Odis shares his approach to leadership by providing options instead of direct orders.

Proud of Myself (00:22:00)
Jesse reflects on personal pride and its importance for leaders in building themselves up.

Meeting People Where They Are (00:22:54)
Jesse discusses the importance of understanding others’ situations as a leader.

Walking Through Decisions (00:23:07)
Jesse highlights the value of guiding others through their decision-making processes.

Leadership and Spirituality (00:24:39)
Discussion shifts to the intersection of leadership and spirituality, emphasizing Christian perspectives.

Pride and Leadership (00:25:17)
Jesse questions the concept of being proud in a Christian context and its implications.

Social Media Influence (00:27:06)
Odis discusses the impact of social media on perceptions of pride and leadership.

Healthy Confidence vs. Arrogance (00:27:48)
Exploration of the fine line between confidence and arrogance in leadership.

The Weight of Compliments (00:30:18)
Discussion on the challenges leaders face in accepting compliments and affirming themselves.

Serving as a Leader (00:31:15)
Jesse poses a question about the importance of serving in leadership roles.

The Role of Followers (00:34:51)
The conversation emphasizes that all leaders were once followers and the value of mentorship.

Algorithm of Influence (00:36:29)
Odis encourages listeners to evaluate their social media influences and how they shape identity.

Acknowledging Struggles (00:37:00)
The speakers prepare to discuss the imperfections and failures faced by leaders.

Introduction to Leadership Struggles (00:38:34)
Discussing the importance of understanding leaders’ failures and how they bounce back.

Jesse’s Experience with Presence (00:39:16)
Jesse shares his struggle with being present during important conversations and its impact.

Odis on Being Present (00:41:07)
Odis relates to Jesse’s struggle, emphasizing the challenge of being present and patient.

Listening as a Leadership Skill (00:41:50)
The speakers discuss the importance of truly listening rather than just hearing others.

Tough Decisions in Leadership (00:43:11)
Leaders often face difficult choices, balancing group opinions with what’s best.

Leadership and Personal Accountability (00:44:12)
The conversation shifts to how leaders must hold themselves accountable for their actions.

What Keeps Jesse Going (00:45:23)
Jesse discusses faith in God as his motivation in leadership and life.

Odis on Purpose and Leadership (00:47:49)
Odis reflects on the importance of having a purpose beyond oneself in leadership.

Conclusion of the Episode (00:49:59)
Closing thoughts on leadership and encouragement for listeners to embrace their potential.

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